My Day of Dedication to the Brett Favre Overkill
I’ll include my comedic updates of the past four weeks today with daily updates as to what we have come to expect in the reporting of the Brett Favre comeback.
This morning…Brett Favre, it is being reported, had 2 eggs that were scrambled with a small cup of orange juice and a slab of bacon. It is expected that after breakfast Favre will get up from his table and walk to the couch where he’ll sit for a reported time of anywhere from 5-30 minutes depending on if he falls asleep or not.
August 7th, 2008 at 11:30 am
This just in….Brett Favre is wearing a worn Guns N Roses T shirt that he wears under his game jersey sometimes as well as some shorts and flip flops. I was going to say ‘thongs’ but I didn’t want to give the wrong impression. More when he wakes up from his nap..
August 7th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Favre just turned over while he was sleeping. Some slight drool but nothing major. His hair looks a little messy.
August 7th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Favre is awake and walking around the house. It is being reported that he used the restroom and washed his hands with soap before actually using an antibacterial substance as well. Favre grabbed a powerbar and was walking around the house again. He sneezed 7 times in a 2 minute period apparently due to allergies that are common during this time of year. He drank what is thought to be water. He grabbed the DVD
‘The Truman Show’ and started watching it and taking notes.
August 7th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Shocking development. Brett Favre got on the internet and was reading articles about himself being traded then he started working the phones again. Apparently he is trying to have the Jets trade him to the Vikings since the Packers wouldn’t.
August 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Favre has just been accused of tampering by the Jets after his Packer cell phone was used to call the Vikings about the apparent interest that Tampa Bay had him in because Jon Gruden spoke to Mike McCarthy about Favre running his offense.
August 7th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Favre has issued a ‘no comment’ to Chris Mortensen on ESPN. Mortensen is reporting right now live from Favres front door that Brett and wife Deana are planning a night of steaks, salad and a light green vegetable for dinner. Lunch plans haven’t been announced yet.
August 7th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Favre is now wearing socks and sandals at the same time. His wife is mocking him about it. Favre is listening to Air Supply’s greatest hits on his IPOD while jumping rope in his sandals.
August 7th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
i left for lunch and came back and apparently brett Favre is going to wear #4 for the JETS. The best #4 besides Brett Favre was Steve Fuller of Chicago Bears fame and he told Brett that he could wear #4 for the Jets. This is not shocking news but i have to report it. Deana Favre has a deal with US WEEKLY magazine and ESPN to release her diet tips and will be paid 1 million dollars which in New York can buy her a Pizza and a courtesy cup of water.
August 7th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Brett Favre is contemplating changing the spelling of his name to Johnson, not Farve like everyone wants him to do.
August 7th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Brett Favre just told his wife while eating some chunky soup “I hope this soup helps me play better than Donavan McNabb”. He followed that with “i don’t even think that is Donovan’s real mom”. Deana replied “I hope this soup makes you play better than Donovan McNabb also because he sucks”
August 7th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Donovan McNabb has called a press conference for a half hour away to respond to allegations made by Deana Favre that ‘he sucks’ at football. Deana Favre could not be reached for comment. Brett Favre said that he has nothing but respect for Donovan McNabb and that the negative comments by his wife have nothing to do with race in fact the Favre’s have a number of African American friends.
August 7th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Donovan McNabb has come out and says that he didn’t take any offense to the fact Brett Favre’s wife thought he sucked. He sighted her lack of real knowledge of football and expected a personal apology soon.
Favre was seen with a Jets hat on and called Roger Clemens to get a prescription filled for him from a ‘connection’ he had in New York.
August 7th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Two Words for brunch: Happy Meal
August 7th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Brett Favre used the bathroom twice in the past 2 hours and it is apparent that is doesn’t fold the paper. He is clearly a guy just balls the paper up. Brett’s tire pressure is currently low at 45. Brett was overheard telling someone thanks when they told him that they thought he was a good player. When Brett walked out of the gas station he took a little stutter step before he went back in and came out with some ‘jerky stuff’.
August 7th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Brett Favre just got to New York and shouted “bienvenidos and espn deportes” to anyone who could hear him. His agent mentioned that outside of Wisconsin he will see all different kinds and types of people so he learned some spanish on the flight over. The Packers want their cell phone back and made a formal request for the commissioner to step in and do something about it. Brett uses two tissues to blow his nose in case the first tissue breaks and he wants to avoid ’snot hand’ at all cost. Favre has 2 eyes, 1 nose and 1 mouth.
August 7th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Brett Favre throws right handed and is learning to play guitar hero.
August 7th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
last entry for the day….Brett Favre is apparently a Jet. This is going to look really funny. I can’t fault anyone for wanting to keep playing as long as possible so I wish him luck. I hope he turns them around and plays for a couple more years because soon enough we’ll wish we appreciated him more while he was here. I still miss some of my favorite players none more than Walter Payton and Ryne Sandberg. When Ryne retired and came back a year and half later I was so happy and I appreciated him even more then. Hopefully we can all appreciate Brett and what he brings to the game that we love. When I think of a pro player loving the game of football none stick out more than Brett Favre. He could’ve taken 25 mill to stay retired but he didn’t and none of us are surprised by it. I respect the guy and wish him well.